The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
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We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
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What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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