Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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