I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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