You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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