Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
