suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
