how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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