Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
