Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
