These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
