about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She even gives head with a lisp.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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