Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
