I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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