Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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