Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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