This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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