it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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