He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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