Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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