i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
