Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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