I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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