Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize