Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
