2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
