just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
