i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
