I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
