I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
