if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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