I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
