Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
