Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
