Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
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