i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
