As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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