just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I currently don't understand fingers.
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