party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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