I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I use my feet as sexual weapons
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
