There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
