I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
