we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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