Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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