All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
