One girl and one boy is just not enough.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
