i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
