see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
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I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
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I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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