I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
