You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
