Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
