Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My pussy is not your playground.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
