Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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