so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
