if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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