As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
