you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
