I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
There are leaves in my underwear?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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