We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
