They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I don't deserve a penis
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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